It's Your Birthday
by BloodDrinker1864
Summary: She's not okay, she really isn't. But how could anybody be after killing a fourteen year old boy. Even though it's Jay's birthday his feelings for Erin are still so overwhelming that he goes to see her after she leaves the bar. 4X21. Linstead. One Shot.


**Hello my darlings. As usual I watched Wednesday's episode saw Jay and Erin and my mind starting turning so I decided to write out another one-shot. This story will also talk about the events of two episodes ago I believe when Erin and Kim when undercover but in my version so if you haven't already read** ** _Thank You For Tonight_** **by me then go do that first** **J**

 **Enjoy!**

She didn't want to go, not at all. But it was Jay's birthday and she still truly did love him. So she forced herself out of the house, to the liquor store where she flinched when the cashier told her the total on the bottle and then packaged it up all nicely before getting back in her car and heading towards Molly's. The drive wasn't to long about ten minutes but the whole time she drove there she tried to talk herself out of going. That instead she would go home and enjoy the bottle herself, but she knew she couldn't. After him taking her home from the hospital a few weeks back things had started to get on the better side. And just the other morning over breakfast they had a talk about living together again and it was good. It all was good so she didn't know why as she parked across the street from Molly's five cars down from Jay's that she felt like she was going to have a panic attack.

But she sucked in the somewhat warm air of Chicago into her lungs as she walked across the street and opened the door to the bar. The first thing she saw was the backs of the guys in her unit. Kevin, Adam and of course Jay's. She didn't even get two steps into the bar when she heard "Lindsay!" from across the room from Adam's mouth.

"Hey guys" she said smiling at them as she walked up to the bar beside Jay's stool. "I just wanted to say happy birthday" she handed him the black box with the sliver bow containing the 150-year-old whiskey.

"What you didn't have to…" Jay stumbled off as he opened up the box and looked inside. "Whoa" was all he managed to get out of his mouth.

"Damn" Gabby said from behind the bar. "That stuff is like two bills. Lucky guy" she said winking that last part at the end.

"Most days" she whispered out so only Jay was able to hear. He turned his head to smile at her knowing he really was lucky to have her. As a partner and even just someone in his life.

"Gabby I know the policy about outside liquor so I will be opening this at home" Erin flinched at the word _home._ His home was truly her apartment, well _their_ apartment. But since that last kiss a few weeks ago nothing else had been said or done and she truly felt like maybe Jay wasn't ever going to move back in.

"No way" she said as she poured more drinks into glasses. "You bring that into my bar" she said pointing at the bottle. "I get a pour"

"I love the way you think!" Adam said almost jumping out of his seat as Gabby lined up five clean glasses and as Jay opened the bottle and started to pour a little bit into each one. "Now remember" he said. "This is something you sip, not chug" as his eyes were directed at Adam which only caused an eye roll from him. Jay handed a glass to Erin and that was when she stepped back.

"I'm actually alright" she said her hands up in defense. "I'm exhausted and going to head home. But happy birthday" and with that she leaned over placing an ever so feather like peck on Jay's check before turning around and walking back across the bar towards the door. From behind her Jay got up out of his stool and called out to her.

"Erin, wait up" he said walking to catch up to her. She turned back around at the door to come face to face with him again. "You okay?" he asked.

She stood there for a quiet moment before shaking her head no ever so slightly. Trying to prevent the tears the formed in her eyes from streaming down her cheeks. "He was only fourteen" she managed to get out. Jay pulled her into a hug wrapping his arms around her waist. And for a moment she allowed herself to enjoy it as she leaned in and breathed in his scent. Something she hadn't smelled in forever. But before Jay could enjoy the hug to long she pulled back mumbling "I'll see yeah" before opening up the door and disappearing out of his sight.

 **00000000000000000000**

The drive back to her apartment was long and quiet. She just kept thinking about the boy and his mom.

 _You killed him._

 _You took away my son._

Was all the replayed over in her mind as she parked her car in front of her apartment building. She was really glad that it was a Friday night, which meant it would be quiet in her building; because all she wanted to do was curl up in bed and go to sleep. When she opened up the door of her apartment it seemed quieter this time, almost haunting. The only sounds that could be heard was her feet along the floor and the deep breaths that she took. When she entered her living room she just stood there looking around. As if she was waiting for something or someone. But minutes went by and the only sound that could be heard was the little tick of the clock in her kitchen.

Defeated and tired from the last two days of work she headed into the bedroom stripping off her clothing before even hitting her bed. First her shirt and her bra, then came her pants and no sooner was she standing in the mirror looking at herself while naked. And as she stood there staring at her empty complexion and lifeless eyes there was a knock on the door. She spun her head around thinking her mind was just playing tricks on her but then several seconds later the sound could be heard again coming from her door. She quickly threw on a pair of sweatpants and an oversized long sleeve shirt before running to the door hoping that whoever had knocked hadn't walked away. She hadn't been expecting company and she knew most of her neighbours were out so who was here at this time. And as she opened the door she came face to face with the last person she had expected.

It was Jay.

"Hi" she just managed to stutter out taken back by him standing in her doorway.

"Hi" he said back with a smile. "Can I come in?" She steeped aside opening the door more without saying a word. This felt way different compared to the last time he was here two weeks ago. Very different.

"What's up?" she asked shutting the door behind him.

"I came to see if you were okay?"

"What?" she said laughing. "I'm fine. You should be out with the boys celebrating"

"Erin" he lowered his voice staring right into her eyes. "Your voice broke at the bar when I pulled you aside. You're not okay and I know it"

She tried to be strong. For herself, to show Jay that she really wasn't upset. But she couldn't. The images of her pulling off the helmet off the boy as blood poured out of his neck from the two gun shot wounds. The two wounds that she had put there after he lifted his weapon up at her. But the images in her mind were over whelming and soon she found tears welling in her eyes and then they were pouring down his checks.

"He was a child" she said through the tears as Jay immediately pulled her into a hug. She rested her head in the crook of his shoulder as she inhaled the scent of him for the second time that night. "I killed an innocent child"

"He wasn't innocent" Jay said sternly. "He pointed his weapon at you with the intention of shooting you. If you hadn't fired your weapon you might have been the one dead"

"That doesn't make it any easier" she said sniffling as she pulled back from Jay. "I'm still a killer none the less"

"Please don't take this out on your self" he said looking like he might cry as well. "What you did was part of your job. And your job is to protect the city. And you were doing just that"

She sighed knowing he was right but it was still hard. None of this was easy, it never was and it never will be.

"So I am asking you now for real" he sighed. "Are you okay?"

"I am now" she said. And suddenly all she could feel was this heat over her body and before she even realized what she was doing she grabbed onto Jay's shirt pulling his closer as she crashed her lips onto his. And man did it ever feel nice. Jay responded with passion kissing her back fiercely as he held onto her body keeping it close. But when Erin reached for the bottom of his shirt to pull it up Jay pulled back, the both of them instantly missing the sensation.

"We should stop" he said trying to catch his breath.

"Why?"

"Erin, I don't want to use you when you're in such a vulnerable place"

"But I'm not" she said reaching for his hands to hold onto. "And besides when I'm with you everything seems to be okay. And all I want is one night, just one night" she needed this. They both did. They both knew they were stressed but neither one wanted to admit to it.

"Please" she almost begged looking into his eyes; the eyes she could get lost in on a daily basis.

But Jay didn't say anything all he did was pull her closer capturing her lips once again. The two of them together was like fireworks. They panted heavily between kisses as they stumbled their way to the bedroom, pulling off clothes as they went. His shirt, her pants until they were both naked on the bed worshipping each other bodies.

 **0000000000000000000000000**

They sat in bed nothing being said, the only sound was there heavy breathing after that long time of love making. "I guess you kind of gave me two birthday gifts this year" Jay said breaking the silence.

Erin couldn't help but laugh as she leaned in resting her head on his shoulder. The two of them were just under the covers sweat still glistering off their naked bodies. "Yeah I guess I did" she turned her head looking at her bedside clock as it read 11:59 pm. "Well you better enjoy the rest of it, because you only have a minute left" And with that Jay pulled her in for one last hard kiss and when they finally pulled apart their lips still swollen the clock now read 12:00 am.

"Happy Birthday" was the last thing she mumbled out before the both of them fell asleep to the sounds of each others heartbeats.

 **Hope you all enjoyed! This honestly should have been posted on Friday but I've been super lazy this week and also super sick. But please review to make a girl happy! xoxo**


End file.
